We extend a special welcome to those who are single, married, divorced, gay, filthy rich, black and proud, y que no hablen Ingles.

We extend a special welcome to those who are newborns, poor as dirt, skinny as a rail, got a hitch in their git-along, or just plain can’t sing. You’re welcome here if you’re “just browsing,” just woke up, or just got out of jail. We don’t care if you’re more Lutheran than Luther, or more Catholic than the Pope, or haven’t been to church since little Maria’s confirmation.

We extend a special welcome to those who are over 40, but not grown up yet, and to teenagers who are growing up too fast. We welcome soccer moms, NASCAR dads, starving artists, tree-huggers, latte sippers, vegetarians, junk-food eaters, and people who stay up too late at night. If you’re having problems, or you’re down in the dumps, or if you don’t like “organized religion,” we’ve been there too. If you blew all your offering money at Black Hawk, you’re welcome here. We offer a special welcome to those who could lose a few pounds, think the earth is flat, work too hard, can’t spell, or came because grandma is in town and wanted to go to church.

We offer a special welcome to those who could use a prayer right now, three times divorced, had religion shoved down your throat as a kid, or got lost in traffic and wound up here by mistake.